Another day…hope that you are all well. Not sure if you have enjoyed what I have written here – the poems…the posts. I have not noticed any comments yet. It makes me wonder if I don’t have my blog set up right to receive comments. If you read this, it would be great if you would leave a comment so that I know if it works. If it doesn’t, please email me through the contact page.
God bless you all,
I have discovered that one of the reason’s that it may be difficult to remain present consistently is the fact that all of those things, which exist in the deeper and only true reality, are all subtle. Yet it is those very things that can draw us up out of ourselves into life.
An example of this I re-discovered in my work a while back. One of the things that I do for a living is clean carpet. The work is repetitive and mundane and it is so easy to become inwardly lost in thought. As I mentioned the other day, it is often in the mundane that we find our biggest struggle to be present. As I made my way through the day, my mind wandered along trying to solve this problem and the other and as it did, I experienced an increasing anxiety. I attempted to implement the tools of simplicity to bring myself into the now, but I was unable. My mind grasped tenaciously to these foreign thoughts with that old obstinacy that does not respond to the will. This particular entity that held my thoughts bound was a particularly strong and vexatious one and I was truly suffering.
At one point, an idea came into my mind that helped and gave me a foothold: “Remember, it’s ok for deliverance to be subtle and small. Let it be ok for it to be small.” Upon receiving this idea, I noticed that it was warm in the room and that I was sweating. I relaxed into the warmth of the room and allowed myself to sense it throughout my body but the sensation was very understated when compared with this violent wave of thoughts. I allowed that to be ok but I held onto the subtle warmth of the room and the feeling of the warm air as it moved across my face. At first, it was only a faint understated sensation, but I allowed it to be there with the anxious thoughts.
Of course there is always the temptation in these instances to begin thinking about the sensation instead of feeling the sensation and before you know it you are thinking of what a good person you are for feeling warm. :-) LOL! But on this particular day, I was given grace in that regard and was able to just let my deliverance be subtle and small. Within a short time, I was home again within my own consciousness and I could soon see the color of the wood paneling and sense the wonders of the simple life which I was leading. I went on sensing the movements of that warm air on my face throughout the afternoon and even had the sweet feeling of some cooler breezes as I was moving my equipment outside the house. The rest of the day was sweet and quiet and wonderful – alive in the beauty of the creation around me – myself, a part of it all.
I hope that you find this post helpful. God bless you all in your journey toward the fields of peace.
Again I feel to share this morning. Time is limited but I thought I would put down a few words before I begin the day. My morning shower is what caused me to think of writing a post. My mind tends to run in the shower. For me, it seems to gain a better foothold in the mundane. I often find myself intending to have a nice hot shower and enjoy the early morning but then I discover a minute or so in that my mind is running along planning out my life or considering some conversation I had the day before and (of all useless and preposterous things) trying to figure out how I might have responded better to that person. I am more able to stay firmly rooted in the present moment when I am experiencing something new. The shower for me is such a part of my regime that it is easy for my mind to stray. My mind…there we go again. I believe that part of the struggle of the shower is the fact that the colors there are so bland – so familiar – white everywhere. There are the little beads of water that glisten, but I find it hard to find the beauty in that small wonder consistently – in other words, it is difficult to find it anew every morning. So, then enters the alien force. Can I really call it that? Alien? This brings up the underlying question…what am I? Who am I at the core? It doesn’t make sense to me that I would not have complete control over every thing that is mine. I know that this may be a stretch for some of you reading if you haven’t considered it yet, but look at it with me for a moment. Does it really make sense that MY mind could ramble on for 10 minutes in the shower without MY permission.
The next most interesting thing about these little episodes of “mind wandering” is that when it is finished, I hardly know what was said. I find myself having a vague memory of worrying about something, and I can often name that something, but I am not sure of the particulars and I would be hard pressed if you asked me to outline the course of the mental conversation. That is a pretty WILD phenomena. Really! Think about it. Could it really be possible that I could be standing in the shower having a conversation with myself for 10 minutes and then have little to no idea 3 seconds later what it was I was talking about? It occurs to me that those of you who may have never considered these things may be thinking that I may just need a need a little help from a good shrink. But if you do, I would invite you to consider the conversations of your own mind. For sure, you have times (if your mind has not completely taken over and runs constantly, you will still notice them – or at least you will notice small breaks of silence when perhaps you see something beautiful and your mind goes quiet) when your mind runs. During one of these times, I invite you to try an experiment:
Experiment Part 1:
During one of these mind running episodes, stop and ask yourself what it is that you were just thinking about. Then, if you can remember, try to come up with the particulars and try to follow the conversation back and outline what was said over the last 5 minutes.
Experiment Part 2:
Now try to stop thinking about that particular topic.
My guess is that you will discover what I have – that you have less control over your mind than you thought.
There are so many implications of this that I do not have time to explore. But one thing is for sure. I am pretty convinced that anything over which I do not have control is not really mine and certainly, is not ME. If I am not running the show, who is? It is said that possession is nine tenths of the law. Were I brought into a court of law, could I claim my own mind based upon this principle? Hopefully more and more yes. But as it stands, showers are shaky ground for me. :-) This also shows that if I desire to keep my own mind both here and in the hereafter, I will need to understand more and more the principles by which I may fully inhabit it.
I hope you find this post helpful. God bless you all today - especially in the mundane. :-)
It is early…4:17am and I am unsure what to write about just yet. It seems that we are always looking for something “out there” and I am even now looking for some word of wisdom outside myself I think…and yet it is here that I must begin. To be born of God – born of faith. That is what is in my heart and on my mind just now…a beginning…a new life. We are told in Mark that when we find the new life, it will come with persecutions. It is something that we don’t expect, but it is a part of the path. In fact, we are told to rejoice in persecutions, for so persecuted they the prophets and Jesus himself… To be meek and lowly of heart… to bear it well… That is all there is for us. If you find yourself on the trackless path, it is likely that you have already begun, if only in isolated moments, to see this life as very short. It is a more accurate view of things and it is one of the consolations that make his burden light and his yoke easy. For me, there is likely at most forty years left of this short life – maybe more if I am blessed with an above average life span. The winds blow and the storm howls and at times all assails to insist that chaos rules, but it is a mirage and time will prove that he who believes was firmly rooted in reality. So…hold on your way. There is a boundary over which the Liar cannot pass. Tighten the fence that surrounds that sacred place of your own consciousness and trust. A scripture is coming to mind that I don’t remember very well – something about how those who trust will not do so in vain.
I guess that is a piece of what is in my heart this morning. I don’t have a ton of time but thought I would share. I have been given so much and am so grateful. I hope it helps.