What a day! I am worn out from turning. Ready for an early bed. Sorry and sad and grateful too. Hopeful. Grateful to come home and to curl up on my bed with the warm fire of my computer screen and for the chance to let these things churn and to be able to pour what has risen to the surface out onto these pages. I am not sure why it brings me comfort to come here other than it seems that all of this inner storm must be to a purpose. Something cosmic moves and I am moved with it like the waves that lap up on the shore of the image that pokes out from behind my MS Word window. And the seagulls fly above in the open air. They have become such a comfort to me.
I am tired. So tired.
Nothing, but to surrender. To pass away to some end, God only knows…to be a part of something, which I yet can only feel. What is he making of me? I only can see it faintly and it seems often wrongly still. What is it to me that he make me useless to every other purpose than his? Why complain? I am the flower’s petal to His pleasing. And when I am finished, I will fall away with as much delight as when I came. For it is the cosmic thing that matters. Perhaps it is all there ever was, all that I ever lived for anyway. Perhaps it is the fire that lit me to begin with and the same that will consume me in the end.
Sounding like a poem…I will have to flesh it out when I have more energy.
Wherever you are…don’t give up. This is part of the path. We are in this together though we may not see each other yet.
…I miss you.
God Bless Us All.